On the 11th Dec every year I miss my dad more than anything in the world. Today would've been his birthday. He would've been 51, he never even got to see his 40th.Sometimes it's so difficult realising he's not here physically. Sometimes after a bad day it would be nice to get a big cuddle from him, just like I used to when I was little, but these days he's not able to fulfil that.
My mum told me earlier on this year that the night she found out about my dads accident, she went out to our balcony and looked up to the sky and asked him to send a sign if he was ok. To this day she still has the single feather that fell from the black sky shortly after.
When my mum told me about this, I was standing in her kitchen, I went to leave and there was a single white feather on the mat at the back door. A sign maybe?
Every now and again I talk to my dad as if he is still here, in spirit, as if he can hear me and is looking over me. I was very much a Daddy's girly when I was little, when he was snatched away from us it was like half of me was missing. To this day I still have an empty feeling in my heart, that will never go away until I am reunited with him on the other side. Each time I have looked up to the sky and asked him if he was there, I have found a feather. Not too long ago I came into work and there was a feather on the mat at the door. I've found feathers in my car, house, everywhere. I'm still waiting on my feather today, I have no doubt it will come.
I know it sounds silly but I still buy him birthday cards. I had one from every year since he passed (1998) but my ex decided to burn them...nice! Anyway, I've started again and I've got them all from 2007, birthday cards, fathers day cards and thinking of you cards. I will need to find an extra special card for him this year, it would've been the last year of us being together until I married Craig..although this would never replace my dad.
I have the above photo beside my bed, every night I look at it and remember the good times. I've got very few photo's of my dad, this is one of the best...only thing that upsets me is that his favourite machine is in the picture, his favourite toy.....the one which took his life 11 years ago.
Glasvegas "How you are my hero, How you're never here though, Remember times when you put me on your shoulders, How I wish it was forever you would hold us"
Your princess,
Thirsty Kirsty xxx
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