Ever need somewhere to note your thoughts, aspirations, feelings? This is my way. It may not be for everyone but the content is honest, raw and most of all...real
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Out with the Old and In with the New
Well folks, a lot has changed since I last posted (I know, it's been over a month!)
My health is still up and down at the moment but thankfully its mostly up! Craig and I are making the most fantastic memories as husband and wife and new doors keep opening for both of us. I am very fortunate and very lucky with what I have in my life. I have the most amazing family and friends and have something to smile about each and every day.
2010 has been our year...we have got married, had the most amazing honeymoon in the Maldives and are just back from Florida with my family. We are skydiving next weekend and doing some Christmas shopping in Manchester as well as looking forward to santa coming next month!
One thing has played on my mind over and over recently. I feel it is time to close the door on my modeling career. I have put lots of thought into this and I want to focus on a few new things in my life. Craig and I have been seriously talking about starting a family and this is where my heart lies. I have to put my health first and make sure I am not doing too much....doctors orders.
I want to take this time to thank all the special people I have met during the last 3 years. I have made some very special friends, especially John, Hannah and Phil. I have travelled throughout the UK and been to some magical places I never even knew existed. I have fallen face first in a puddle of mud, been bitten by a swan and almost pulled over a fence by a donkey! I have stepped on a dead vole while shooting nude in a cave, almost been stranded on a rock as the tide came in, seen a photographer (Phil) fall out of a tree and almost fallen over in some reeds while my leggings were round my ankles and I was trying to walk. I have shot everything from fashion to lingerie, glamour to nude. I specialised in nude, which I am so happy I did. I enjoyed embracing my curves in front of the camera and creating different shapes in the light and shadows. I have shot with male and female photographers, in front of one photographer or a group. I've been caught naked in an old farmhouse and shot in -13'C with Alex Ingram. I also ruffled the feathers of another nude model but over time we both realised we are similar and therefore have similar visions. After exchanging emails etc we have now almost become friends, which is something truly unique in my heart. (I know you are reading this and I want to say Thank You and you are a fantastic model!)
I have made so many memories over the past few years while in the presence of a photographer and a camera. I have all the images to speak for themselves and will always hold them close to my heart. Many models have inspired me, photographers too. Places inspire me. There is nothing more magical than shooting in a natural surrounding, nude, with the chilly wind and small raindrops falling on your skin. This is my favourite feeling in the world, being free, at one with nature.
I could go on for hours about all of this, it is something so utterly special to me but I'd like to leave it there for now. I'm closing this chapter of my life and opening another. I'm not saying I will not be in front of another camera in my life, possibly even behind it, but for now, for me, I know this is the right thing.
"If you want something so bad, you will do anything to make it happen"
There is one person who inspires me daily, every morning and every night. He was my soldier for so long, the person I turned to when things went wrong, the one who always told me I made him proud. He was my dad - he still is and always will be. Although he is not here anymore, he will always be in my heart and I like to think every day he is looking down on me. He is now my angel.
I like to write my thoughts and feelings down about him, sometimes it helps me deal with the fact he is no longer here beside me.
When I was upset I cried on your shoulder When I was scared you were my soldier When I needed a hug, your arms were there When I cried at night, you'd stroke my hair When I was quiet you'd make a sound When I sat still, you'd jump around When I was upset, you just knew I always think what we've been through Once you were here and now you're gone I couldn't think of anything more wrong You look down on me from up in the sky But sometimes I can't understand why...
This Is Me...I am a normal 23 year old girl who strives every day to make other people smile. I am known for puting everyone else before me and wearing my heart on my sleeve. I have the best people around me in the world, I couldn't live without them. I am a part time model, full time beauty salon owner, loving wife to the best hubby ever, mummy to a little border collie and I'm happily planning my life and living my dreams. Welcome to my world.