You've got a friend

There is someone in this world very close to my heart but is slightly lost on her life path at the moment. This girl is a complete and utter gem to me, so precious and fragile. I can't explain my adoration for her in words, this song explains it all. I just hope she realises how truly special she is to me and how much I am there for her no matter what happens.

This girl is like a sister to me, Santa couldn't of brought me a better present!

Remember, I love you lots!

Kirsty xxx

5 more sleeps until Santa comes!

So excited about Christmas and the fact its snowing! I've been counting down the days since the beginning of the month. No idea why I'm so excited, I guess I just like the family feel of the festive period, the fact everyone is almost always happy and the fact everyone gets lots of exciting gifts to open.

I had planned to do a snow shoot on Saturday but the photographers poor dog had an operation, was poorly and didn't want to leave him. It was only a quick meet and greet anyway, we have planned a whole load of stuff for 2010, really looking forward to working with him.

The above images were taken by the fantastic David Kane aka Joopninja. As I said yesterday, we shot last week in an old tenament building in Glasgow right above Subway (it smelt amazing!) We shot some stuff for a project of mine which will be revealed next year and also some nudes. We also played around with some bodyscapes too, which I really enjoyed. David was such a lovely guy to work with and generally just a nice guy to hang about with, we had a good laugh too.

We only shot for a couple of hours but managed to get some great images, we just seemed to work well together. Got a shoot with him in January at Con's place so looking forward to that, already planned everything out!



I got a bit dirty on the shoot too, David showed me a room with the mechanism to work the old lift in the building...so what did Kirsty do? Take all her clothes off, climb on top of it and rub oil all over me. It took bloody ages to come off but I love the oil images, especially the above one, there's something special about this image.

I feel David is going to go far in 2010, he definitely has the passion and determination and if the above images are anything to go by...I think he should do a lot more nudes.

It's the UKPM Christmas get together tonight in Coatbridge...I was meant to be going but the snow is too bad, wouldn't want to risk getting stuck. From what I've heard so far there are people stuck on the way already and not moved for ages. Maybe it's best I had a little common sense and decided to stay at some, it's not usual I have common sense!

Anyway, I'll go just now, my brother is up for Christmas and him and Craig are watching top gear, saying I'm being anti social on my laptop. Guess I better go and make an effort! Almost only 4 more sleeps to go!!!

Hope Santa is good to you all and you have a fantastic festive period and get everything you wished for!

Love you lots,
Kirsty xxx

I'm sleepy...

...so just a quick post at the moment, I'll update tomorrow.

Here's a couple of my favourite outtakes of 2009...

Got a little carried away with my drawings! These were taken by the lovely Joopninja aka David Kane - an extremely talented young photographer! We had such a laugh together.

I'll update on the whole shoot tomorrow at some point, I'm just home from a family meal and the panto...need my bed.

Night everyone,

big Christmas kisses

xxxxxxx

Happy Birthday Dad

On the 11th Dec every year I miss my dad more than anything in the world. Today would've been his birthday. He would've been 51, he never even got to see his 40th.
Sometimes it's so difficult realising he's not here physically. Sometimes after a bad day it would be nice to get a big cuddle from him, just like I used to when I was little, but these days he's not able to fulfil that.

My mum told me earlier on this year that the night she found out about my dads accident, she went out to our balcony and looked up to the sky and asked him to send a sign if he was ok. To this day she still has the single feather that fell from the black sky shortly after.
When my mum told me about this, I was standing in her kitchen, I went to leave and there was a single white feather on the mat at the back door. A sign maybe?
Every now and again I talk to my dad as if he is still here, in spirit, as if he can hear me and is looking over me. I was very much a Daddy's girly when I was little, when he was snatched away from us it was like half of me was missing. To this day I still have an empty feeling in my heart, that will never go away until I am reunited with him on the other side. Each time I have looked up to the sky and asked him if he was there, I have found a feather. Not too long ago I came into work and there was a feather on the mat at the door. I've found feathers in my car, house, everywhere. I'm still waiting on my feather today, I have no doubt it will come.

I know it sounds silly but I still buy him birthday cards. I had one from every year since he passed (1998) but my ex decided to burn them...nice! Anyway, I've started again and I've got them all from 2007, birthday cards, fathers day cards and thinking of you cards. I will need to find an extra special card for him this year, it would've been the last year of us being together until I married Craig..although this would never replace my dad.

I have the above photo beside my bed, every night I look at it and remember the good times. I've got very few photo's of my dad, this is one of the best...only thing that upsets me is that his favourite machine is in the picture, his favourite toy.....the one which took his life 11 years ago.

Glasvegas "How you are my hero, How you're never here though, Remember times when you put me on your shoulders, How I wish it was forever you would hold us"

R.I.P Dad, I love you more than anything in the complete universe. Thank you for constantly looking down on me and giving me strength when I needed it most. I am eternally grateful for all you are doing from up there in the sky. I love you. "Never Is A Long Time"

Your princess,
Thirsty Kirsty xxx

Chin up and standing tall...

Feeling a lot better after everything the other night. Some people in this world are just not worth wasting time over. Enough said.

Anyway, I was thinking about new years resolutions the other day...I've set myself a few as usual but I'm one of these people that can never stick to them. I managed to stick more or less to last years so set harder ones for next year.

I've already managed to reach one of my goals for next year, to work with a cerain photographer. I am visiting him in early January for the weekend and cannot wait to shoot! It was his work that originally inspired me to give modeling a go, and has continued to inspire me on a pretty much daily basis. I know he is a big inspiration in the industry to models and photographers, I am just so thankful I have the opportunity to collaborate with him. Bring on January!

My weight is also on the way down. After being so ill this year I've found it difficult to stay in shape, when you're aching from head to toe it's difficult to want to go out for a run. With the wedding now only six months away I'm working on a new health and fitness plan so hopefully I'll look fab in my wedding dress.

I got a call from the dress shop yesterday, my dress has arrived! So excited about going through to try it on. I only have two weeks to get through though otherwise the designed recalls the dress. Also means I have to pay the remaining £500 of it...just before Christmas...it sucks!

Can't wait until Santa comes though!

Also, thanks to Russel for the above image...it was bloody freezing and I ended up in that water. Call me mental but it was so worth it!

Kirst xxx

"I wonder what tomorrow will bring?"

After posting yesterday everything in my life was perfect...give it a few hours and a phonecall or two later and it has taken a huge knock...or more like I have taken a huge knock.

I found out some devastating news last night. I also got told by a very inspirational man last night to stand tall, take what it thrown at me and hold my head up high. He told me I should be very proud of myself right now but I need to stand tall. I completely understand what he is talking about but sometimes it's difficult to stand tall when everyone close to you is knocking you down left, right and centre.

K x

Wish upon a shooting star

After my crappy day yesterday Craig told me he had a surprise for me...I hate surprises! After dinner we went out in the car, drove for miles and stopped the car down by an old farm, lake and rowing boats. He turned the lights off and we lay on the bonnet with a blanket round us looking at the stars. It couldn't have been any more perfect. We could both feel the cold chilling wind on our cheeks but the warmth coming from each other.

When I was pointing out some stars to him, we both said we'd love to see a shooting star (Craig saw his first a couple of weeks ago and was amazed by it!) A few seconds later we seen a big glistening star shoot across the black velvet sky. It was at that split moment I realised how content I am just now, how happy I am with everything and how being with Craig doing the most random of things takes all my worries away.

*

I also had an awesome time shooting with Russell over the weekend. On Sat we shot at a little homeless setup we came across in the woods, then in the water (yep, December and I was in the water). On Sunday we shot at a big loch in Perth (yep, there is one!) and some woods doing some more homeless type stuff and some nudes. Again, I decided to take all my clothes off and get into the loch! It was absolutely freezing but so worth it! I had the ideal building lined up which I've wanted to shoot in for ages. Last time I was up it was easy to get into, if you knew how, but when we drove up there on Sunday, it was all boarded up and there was no way in. Was absolutely gutted, think Russell was too. We got some great images out of the time we had together anyway, but I'm more than overdue a trip to Ayrshire to shoot on his home turf.

Bit cheerier today, yesterday was just a bad day. Sorry for the rant guys,

Kirst xxx

One of those days...

Ever feel like everything is getting too much? Ii've got so much pressure on me at the moment, so much is going on/going wrong, daily drama...I don't know how much more I can take.


Spent all afternoon in the solicitors trying to come to an agreement over a "work associate", came home to loads of texts from a friends husband "my car won't start again, can you come round now?" (Been getting pretty much the same text every day for weeks....I'm a beauty therapist, not a mechanic. Craig is...but he is up to his eyeballs in homers...that's what happens when you have a wedding to pay for)...feel like I've let a good friend down...health is going down hill very quickly...got a nasty cold today...hung around at the salon on my day off (today) for a client to be 45mins late...then the next one to not show at all...then for a person who is due me lots of pennies to not show...hence the solicitors in the afternoon. In between all of this I have done a weeks food shopping, dropped some stuff off for the Daily Record, been to pets @ home, done all the housework, replied to emails for shoots, checked out some images from a shoot last week, went to Perth Engineering to pay for a head gasket for a punto (craig's homer), delivered some Christmas shopping guides to clients, collected an order from a warehouse for the salon....


Honestly....today has been a shit day from the moment I woke up until now...and it doesn't look like it will get any better tonight.


Sorry for the rant...I just look at this image and it makes me feel better. I love it, thanks Mike.



Kirst xxx

My Date With Russel

My buddy RusselD, his lovely wife Margaret, Craig and I all went for a meal last night. Russel has come up for the weekend to shoot with me and explore many of the ideas we have come up with recently. We discussed them over dinner last night as well as many other things such as weird Christmas gifts, tyres on cars, haunted places, my talented pooch, a few models, some photographers, a homemade washboard and how Russel should now be called Scrooge!

We're shooting this afternoon when I finish work, I'm so excited. It's raining at the moment and looking pretty damn cold but it doesn't mean I'm going to be keeping my clothes on for long! I don't mind suffering from my art.

I told my mum about my nude modeling the other day. She's seen some images which weren't too revealing but not seen a lot of recent stuff. Her reply was "But Kirsty, you have no clothes on!" to which I replied "...and...?" She went a slight shade of red but after looking through all my images she said they were veryh nice. I guess she's just happy I'm doing everything artistically rather than sitting with my legs open, which just isn't my thing at all. I hope she's proud...and I know she's reading this now so "Hi mum! Love you xxx"

I received some more images back from Mike the other day. I really enjoyed this shoot and I love the images. I've got quite a few but not going to blog with all of them just now. As you may have noticed I have a lack of headshots on my profiles, basically as I don't like my face! Anyway, Mike was complaining at me about it so he took this one, it was just a quick snap but I really like it (apart from ym hair being a mess)

Anyway folks, I'll write tomorrow and update you on my shoot with big Rusty and my location hunt to Aberdeen ;)

Love you all

xxxxx

I was so scared!

I had a very productive shoot on Saturday with the lovely Mike (ABZ_Loon) at my farmhouse. I've used the farm buildings over and over and I'm pretty much done with it. Attached to the farm buildings there is a huge 3 storey farmhouse, complete with fittings, fireplaces, windows, doors, cupboards, bathrooms etc. I've wanted to shoot in this house for ages now but it's pitch black since the windows are all boarded up. Finally, after I supplied a generator, I managed to grab a shoot with Mike. We had an absolute blast shooting and just generally hanging out. He's a real fun guy to be around and gave me the opportunity to be a little creative and try some new ideas.

We even decided to start a fire in the fireplace in the main room we were shooting in...although since I'm crap with fire, I couldn't keep it going for very long (hence why it's absent from the above image) but I was successful at creating a lot of smoke! I also had a very interesting "prop" with me, I'll post up images when I receive them. Also managed to get some creepy ones with the pooch, he's another prop which comes in handy a lot (love you Cody x) I don't know what it was about the farmhouse, whether it was the dark, the silence, the derelict feeling...but I was totally scared for the whole shoot, I felt as though something was watching me the whole time. The images we created looked fab on the camera and had a very creepy feel about them, I'm excited to see more!

I'm really looking forward to shooting with Mike again, we had a blast! Also, just wanted to say thanks to Alanm from UKPM who helped me create some beautiful make-up images for my salon. My clients were very happy Alan...hopefully I'll manage to get a shoot with you soon!

Rupert is coming to visit on Friday...well RusselD for everyone else, Rupert for me! (long story) We're going out for a meal with his wifey Margaret and my hubby Craig. We've got lots planned so need to discuss everything, then we're shooting on Sat and lots of new locations I've found. Got a secret theme to this shoot but all will be revealed in due course!

I've just made mince pies and a Christmas cake and I don't even like them...waiting on Craig coming in to scoff the lot!

Night guys,

Kirst xxx

A bit of a difference

I've admired some of the work Alistair Finlayson has produced recently so I managed to snap him up for a shoot last night. Before I left home the weather was disasterous...the wind was so strong it was making the car sway, the rain was so heavy it was difficult to see...but still, I wanted to shoot outside! Call me crazy!

We played about it the studio for a while, we never had anything in particular planned, just turn up, bounce ideas around a bit and see what we come up with. Here is one of the shots so far ^^, just as a taster. When I suggested the rain Alistair wasn't keen on going out in it then as it got heavier he pulled on his jacket, threw a towel at me, picked up his camera and said "Lets go!" Seen some of the rain images and they look fab!

I also got some images back from Barney from when I was down in East Sussex. I like these, they are a little different...

I really like these images, they are a bit different to my usual nude work...maybe that's why I like them.

Until next time,

Kirst xx

Happiness

It's sad. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, how determined you are, how much effort you put into every little thing along the way there are always some people who are just not willing to let you be happy.

Sometimes it doesn't involve them, they are just being awkward. Maybe it gives them something to do when they are otherwise bored. Maybe sometimes they should keep thoughts and feelings to themselves.

Sometimes

Sometimes it takes the most random moments, the most random situations and the most random images to put life in perspective. I've been doing this a lot recently and I've realised that although my life has been hell for years, thankfully I'm past the worst now, I'm grateful for every single thing that has happened, if it was not for these experiences, good, bad and horrid, I would not be me...they have helped shape my life, my personality.

One huge change in my life is the absence of an old family member, still living...but absent, to my soulmate. This "person", which I cannot legally say too much about, told me over and over again as a very young child "You do not deserve to be happy, everyone else does, but you don't." To be told this as a child is not only disturbing, let alone it coming from someone you looked up to. The whole situation made me so scared, so frightened I couldn't talk...I kept everything a secret for 12 long years, until I was 17 years old. Now, with that "person" out of my life I have Craig. He is my absolute world. I still hear the phrase "You do not deserve to be happy" but no longer do I believe it, I now have someone by my side who tells me it is his mission in life to make me smile and keep me smiling.

The above image was taken by me when I was coming home from England. I was just playing around with the camera but I find this image, more than any of the others, inspires me. It makes me happy for what I have, appreciate what I had and remember what I've lost.
It brings a little saying to mind. I live my life by this philosophy, I even have a copy of it beside my bed which I read every single night.

I take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what I've got and remember what I had. I always forgive but I never forget, I've learned from my mistakes and I never regret. People change, things go wrong, I just remember that life does go on.

Just having one of my "deep" moments and thought I'd share it with you,

Kirst xx

Happy Birthday Cody!

My little man turned 2 today! I can't believe how quick he's grown up! He's still a little $h!t though! When I say "is it your birthday?" he cocks his head to the side and pricks up his ears...he recognises the word but thinks it means he gets a treat before breakfast, a bone for supper and an oversized tennis ball which rolls along the floor making the noise of a rolling boulder crashing into my furniture!

Oh the joys of having a dog!

Kirst xx

Bad Times

2009 has been such a challenge for me and I'm starting to look forward to new beginnings in 2010. This year, my health has went from bad to worse...first I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, then M.E (which led to chicken pox, 3 lots of tonsilitis and losing my voice) and now after another check up with the doctor and some more tests I am allergic to wheat (which is pretty much all I eat since I don't have a sweet tooth) and I also have mastoiditis which showed up during an MRI scan. Basically, this means the lining of my skull or something like that is all inflammed and infected on my left side causing bad headaches and dizziness. It's the second time this year it's caused me bother and now I may have to get an operation to remove something...let's hope it's not my brain!

I asked my doc about the operation, what happens and when I would be getting it done...he replied early next year hopefully and I would have to get my head cut off...I mean open.

...problem...

(1) I'm terrified of surgery after seeing the film "Awake" about a guy who gets his head (I think)operated on and can still hear and feel everything that's going on, he even hears the doctors planning on killing him.

(2) It means I will have to get part of my head shaved, above my left ear....I love my hair...there's no way I'm getting it shaved.

(3) If needs must and I have to get it shaved...I will have a bald bit for my wedding :( It's not happening, I'm puting my foot down....at least wait until after the wedding!

On a lighter note, I'm going to be an auntie! My future sister-in-law is pregnant, she found out when she was 6 months! She did always say she was the type of person to go to the toilet and come out with a baby...she's not far off it!

Also, I received some more images recently from Phil which I'm in love with! I love the colours of the sky in these. Phil is hopefully going to be my early Christmas present this year! Hoping to shoot again soon! Also, my buddy Rupert and I are going to take on the freezing outdoors in early December!

I'm missing my dad an awful lot at the moment. It's probably due to the fact I'm proud of myself and feel he would be too. Also, I hate Christmas without him...Christmas for me is family time, sometimes it's just difficult when part of your family will be spending Christmas looking down on you from the clouds..

Love you dad,

Kirst xxx

Some more from Phil...

^^^^ love it!

Got some more great edits through from my buddy Phil (lifescapes). I love these shots and I also loved hearing Phil is coming to visit me soon! So happy! Going to scout out some perfect locations for us to shoot!

Here are some more of our creations:

Thanks so much for these Phil. It was well worth the wait to shoot with you. Already looking forward to our next shoot...

Kirst xx

Some newbies...

I LOVE receiving new images....almost as much as I love making them. I get so excited when I go home and see a little disc lying on the floor waiting on me! I've received so many recently so thought I should share them all with you!

JohnH

Han and I shot with John in Bent Brae and had a blast together. We all hit it off so much we probably got just as many outtakes!

(the above image is one taken by JohnH)

Digicam - Dave

Dave was the 3rd photographer to shoot Han and I on Monday. We were working on a railway set with a touch of erotic nudity. Really looking forward to seeing the results as it was something different for me. Already got a couple of shots over including one lingerie shot which I really like. I know the perspective is slightly off with the railway platform in the background but this is being edited as we speak. Thanks for a great shoot Dave.

Ruthless Photography - Ruth

Already mentioned about the shoot with Ruth below but here is another couple of images I received from our shoot together...

That's all for now folks, hope you've enjoyed looking at these images as much as I did making them!

Kirst xx

Two Peas in a Pod

For quite some time now Han (Hanz162) and I have been speaking and arranging to shoot together. We managed to get yesterday and the day before booked up and I've been looking forward to shooting with her for ages!

We started out in Coatbridge on Sunday with Ruth from RuthlessPhotography at her home studio. We all had a good laugh and managed to get the above image...although it looks like I'm strangling Han I actually really like the shot. I always thought Han and I would work well together as we are complete opposites...I'm blonde she's dark, I'm tall she's slightly smaller, I've got some curves and Han is slim, I've got shoulder length hair where Han's is longer...I'm the chalk and she's the cheese...but when working together we are little two peas in a pod!

I had a blast shooting with Han over the past few days. A couple of breaks in shooting allowed us to have big heart-to-hearts and we reaslied physically we may look different but mentally and emotionally we've been through a lot of similar experiences. I really felt I clicked with Han and she is an absolute sweetheart to chat with and to shoot with. Yesterday we spent all day at Bent Brae shooting with JohnH, SFT and digicam. Really looking forward to seeing the results! Thanks guys!


While I was on the train through to meet Han yesterday (at 6am!) I was playing about on my laptop and received this image from NatashaDiPasquale. We shot together a while ago and I've been really looking forward to the results. I absolutely love the above image and I know there are more amazing ones from our shoot. Can't wait to see more!

Anyway, I'm off for now, I'm at work and should really be working but instead I'm updating my blog...as usual! I love my blog!

Will update soon with more images,

Kirst xxx