Well, as you all know I've not been very well recently. Yesterday I demanded to see a doctor and I sat in his room and told him I wasn't leaving until I got some answers. Well....I certainly got some answers but it wasn't what I wanted to hear at all. When he told me I burst into tears.
One of the hardest things was coming to terms with it and being able to admit to what I had/have. I went to visit my sister-in-law who was there with a shoulder to cry on. When I went home I was so scared to tell Craig, for some reason I thought he wouldn't love me as much if I told him what it was. Eventually I couldn't hold it in anymore so I let it all out and told him everything. He was absolutely amazing and told me he's going to stand by me no matter what happens. Couldn't ask for a better husband.
As you might have guessed, I'm super close with my mum. We tell each other everything and there are never any secrets between us. Craig told me I should tell her but I was shaking at the thought of it, I was terrified. My mum has enough stress with her day to day life without having to worry about me.
After dinner Craig, Cody and I walked up to my mums and I got her on her own, burst into tears and told her every single thing the doctor said. She cried a little too and gave me a massive cuddle. It still brings tears to my eyes even writing about it, I'm so scared...
...at least now I know what it is and I can get the proper treatment I need. I did get told to keep active though and to try and not let things bother me too much. I'm looking to fill my diary with lots of exciting projects to keep me going over the next couple of months as I know they are not going to be the easiest of times.
Kirst xxx
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
Thursday, 26 August 2010
My Handsome Little Man
When I have been unwell Cody has stuck right by my side and always been ready to cuddle me until I fall asleep. I love getting my camera out when he's about, he's such a little poser!
Hope you enjoy my little man as much as I do,
Kirst xxx
Mummy's jumper
After my mums crazy 50th birthday Craig and I decided to walk home rather than wait on a taxi. Walking somewhere after you've had a few cocktails is always a funny experience, it seems to take forever (must've been walking at snails pace!) and you giggle at everything...well I do at least. Craig and I seem to have the most hillarious conversations when walking home after a few drinks.
Anyway, my mum gave me her jumper to keep me warm. It was a lovely jumper, so cosy and felt like I was getting a huge cuddle all the way home. I loved it so much I couldn't help but take it to a shoot with Stu Hyland and Roy Pritchard a couple of days later.
Stu, Roy and I had a fab shoot at Blackness Castle in South Queensferry. It got dark quite early on which made it slightly more challenging but we welcomes the challenge with open arms and produced some lovely images together. Iit also started raining slightly but I managed to escape to a doorway and get some shelter. I was shooting from the doorway which was perfect...I was dry - Stu and Roy were very wet!
I got the above image back from Stu a few days ago but my blog has been playing around and not letting me upload images. It working today though so fingers crossed it stays working. I love this image. I've seen some others which look awesome too, really proud of some of them which is always a good thing. Hoping to upload some soon. I'm also excited to see Roy's images as they looked fab from the back of the camera.
Health wise I've not been the best recently. After my little stint in hospital I've had numerous tests which all seem to come back with the results I didn't want to hear. Have to go for an echocardiogram soon - an ultrasound of the heart - to check everything is ok there. I'm just glad we don't have to pay for health care in this country or I'd be even poorer than I am now!
Until next time,
Kirst xxx
Friday, 13 August 2010
Sometimes people just click
I recently had a shoot with Stu Hyland at an abandonned warehouse near his place. This was one of my first shoots after being ill and on the way through to meet him I wasn't feeling great and was annoyed at myself in case my ill health encroached on our shoot.
When we arrived at the location my eyes just lit up. I was so inspired by the building, everything about it was just amazing and the potential for images was great. We got to work straight away after exploring the location and deciding what areas we wanted to work in and what outfits I was going to wear. Usually I mainly shoot art nude but after being ill I was told I had to stay warm so have been building up my fashion section of my portfolio. Although saying that, there were a couple of sets towards the end of the evening where I just knew they would look better with some nudity so couldn't help myself.   Stu is a great photographer, had unlimited ideas and is as daft as a brush! We seemed to click really well and from the moment we started shooting we were bouncing ideas around (including some from Craig who was our lookout with the dog!) We even got down to some light painting later where Craig was in charge of the lights, Stu with the camera and me doing my stuff as usual. We got on so well I'm doing a group shoot with Stu and some other people on Monday at South Queensferry and we're already in discussions of future shoots and ideas. the eye of Craig McGuire. We had discussed shoots before but never really got round to getting anything firmly in the diary. These images have managed to strike a chord with him though so we're back on track with getting something booked. you think of them as they are a little different to my usual stuff. |
Vintage Beauty
| John Hewat and I recently shot at my place in my newly decorated spare room. I saw this teal colour of paint when I was thinking about decorating and couldn't help but buy it. The room looks fantastic with two different shades of teal and lots of light, airy furnishings and vintage looking furniture.
Thankfully I'm feeling better after a few weeks of ill health. I'm back to shooting and have had a few fabulous shoots with lots more to come. When I'm in front of a camera I completely forget of worries about my health and other things which are bothering me. It's my escape, my time to feel free. Kirst xx |
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Sometimes, from time to time, people piss me off! It seems in the past week or so lots of people have pissed me off at once and that doesn't make me a happy bunny!
Firstly I had a shoot booked with a certain photographer known as L**D (it's pretty obvious who he is but if you want to know leave me a msg and I'll get back to you). I arranged a shoot with him at 5.30am one Sunday morning to catch the sunrise at a popular beach in Edinburgh. Now, this fella has let me down before but I gave him the benefit of the doubt after he ran out of dying relatives and as he promised he is now more professional the booking got confirmed. A few days later I received an email from him saying he has a family get together on the Saturday evening and would not manage to be awake for 5.30am on the Sunday. I was uber pissed and emailed him to confirm I will not be opening any emails from him in the future and would never think of working with him, neither would I recommend him.
Secondly, I had a shoot arranged for yesterday at Bent Brae studio with a photographer I have worked with before. I logged on to PS to confirm things only to receive an email saying "I've heard you are unwell, hope you take care". Now I never saw this as a cancelation as it never included the words "I am canceling/postponing etc until you are better". I phoned Derek at the studio and he told me the studio had been canceled as 'I had canceled with the photographer'. Now, this photographer T**B never once received an email/text/phonecall from me saying I was too unwell to shoot. I had an away notice on PS saying I had been unwell and was taking a while to get back to my mail. I also said I had canceled the necessary shoots. I HAD NOT CANCELED THIS ONE AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER HAD NO REASON TO THINK I HAD CANCELED IT AS I HAD ALREADY CONFIRMED IT WOULD BE GOING AHEAD. Really fucked me off to be honest. Some people are so unprofessional.
Thirdly, (and this is not to do with modeling at all) I had a girl lined up to rent one of the manicure stations in my salon. She ended up telling me after she was due to start she had changed her mind. I only found this out when I called her and got her voicemail, to receive an email from her. She is older than me and meant to be professional but refused to remove posters in corporate companies advertising she was at my salon. When I emailed her to ask her to remove them again I got no response. I eventually emailed again and asked her to remove them for a third time or further action would be taken and she proceeded to tell me I was being over dramatic and my tone was unreasonable. My salon is my pride and joy and I will not have anyone put me down for anything to do with the salon.
All these people should be put in a big spaceship and blasted into outer space. Just my 2p worth.
Kirst x
Firstly I had a shoot booked with a certain photographer known as L**D (it's pretty obvious who he is but if you want to know leave me a msg and I'll get back to you). I arranged a shoot with him at 5.30am one Sunday morning to catch the sunrise at a popular beach in Edinburgh. Now, this fella has let me down before but I gave him the benefit of the doubt after he ran out of dying relatives and as he promised he is now more professional the booking got confirmed. A few days later I received an email from him saying he has a family get together on the Saturday evening and would not manage to be awake for 5.30am on the Sunday. I was uber pissed and emailed him to confirm I will not be opening any emails from him in the future and would never think of working with him, neither would I recommend him.
Secondly, I had a shoot arranged for yesterday at Bent Brae studio with a photographer I have worked with before. I logged on to PS to confirm things only to receive an email saying "I've heard you are unwell, hope you take care". Now I never saw this as a cancelation as it never included the words "I am canceling/postponing etc until you are better". I phoned Derek at the studio and he told me the studio had been canceled as 'I had canceled with the photographer'. Now, this photographer T**B never once received an email/text/phonecall from me saying I was too unwell to shoot. I had an away notice on PS saying I had been unwell and was taking a while to get back to my mail. I also said I had canceled the necessary shoots. I HAD NOT CANCELED THIS ONE AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER HAD NO REASON TO THINK I HAD CANCELED IT AS I HAD ALREADY CONFIRMED IT WOULD BE GOING AHEAD. Really fucked me off to be honest. Some people are so unprofessional.
Thirdly, (and this is not to do with modeling at all) I had a girl lined up to rent one of the manicure stations in my salon. She ended up telling me after she was due to start she had changed her mind. I only found this out when I called her and got her voicemail, to receive an email from her. She is older than me and meant to be professional but refused to remove posters in corporate companies advertising she was at my salon. When I emailed her to ask her to remove them again I got no response. I eventually emailed again and asked her to remove them for a third time or further action would be taken and she proceeded to tell me I was being over dramatic and my tone was unreasonable. My salon is my pride and joy and I will not have anyone put me down for anything to do with the salon.
All these people should be put in a big spaceship and blasted into outer space. Just my 2p worth.
Kirst x
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Can I do glamour? ;)
| Thought I'd post these from a few weeks back when I worked with a new photographer Cee El-Ehembe. We shot while I was on my honeymoon in the Maldives and thought we'd take advantage of the beautiful lagoon outside my beach bungalow. I really like these images, it was nice to try something a bit different for me. I was going to shoot my usual art nude but with the Maldives being a Muslim country it was going to be a bit disrespectful for us to do so.
So, what do you think? Can Kirsty do glamour? Or are these images a lost cause? ** Look at the photographers name and write it down as you say it.... C L.A.M.B <---- the hubby! Was just a little play around on our honeymoon ** |
Poor Old Me
I know I've been pretty rubbish at updating this recently but I've not stopped since we came back from our honeymoon. I've learned my lesson though because all of the work I have been doing landed me in hospital last week.
I came into work feeling not too bad, a bit of tonsilitis but thought I'd be fine. Within a couple of hours I was dizzy, had fainted, had a panic attack because I was on my own (first time for this and very scary) and couldn't stop shivering. I phoned my mum and Craig but couldn't get a hold of them. Eventually I managed to get myself to the hospital and was immediately taken to a side room in the emergency department.
I was panicing again and even more when they were wiring me up to all sorts of machines and telling me I might have meningitis. Blood was taken, an IV put it, drip attached and lights turned out. I had all sorts of medication pumped into me and all I wanted to do was go home. The doctor told me I had to stay but, having a fear of hospitals, I refused and started causing a scene - mid panic.
One of my friends had come to sit with me and convince me to stay but I was having none of it. I ripped the machines out and refused to stay. The doctor told me how serious it was but against everyones wishes I discharged myself.
My mum had come to meet me and wasn't mad at me, just worried. She took me home but within hours I was back in the emergency room ten times worse. I knew this time I had to stay in. Craig and his mum were with me so I didn't feel so bad. I was once again wired to all sorts of machines, taken for a chest x-ray and to the ward where I was given my own room. I got told I was being sent for a lumber puncture which made me freak even more. I wanted my mum, 22 years old and all I wanted was her by my side.
It was now late at night and time for Craig and his mum to go. As they were leaving I was in floods of tears begging them to stay but they couldn't. I was a mess. Every hour during the night I was woken for tests and more blood and in the morning I was happy to wake to find my mum beside me.
My temperature was still sky high, blood pressure really low, heart tracing was all over the place, heart rate was super high and blood tests showed all sorts of abnormalities. Before I knew it I was in am ambulance being sent to Ninewells hospital in Dundee for a scan as I had a blood clot in my lung. Before going in the ambulance I had to have another injection in my stomach to thin my blood and strange stuff injected through my IV prior to the scan to show the blood supply to my lungs.
I'd never been in an ambulance before, it wasn't really that exciting but it was nice to know the blue flashing lights were on! After my scan we had to wait 2 hours before we could get an ambulance back to Perth. Finally we got back and some more tests were carried out. I was eventually allowed home but with orders of strict bed rest and lots of medication.
So...that's why I've taken ages to update things, I've got so much to update you on and I PROMISE I will get it done soon, I just need to take things easy at the moment. Will try and update again today.
Much love,
Kirst xx
I came into work feeling not too bad, a bit of tonsilitis but thought I'd be fine. Within a couple of hours I was dizzy, had fainted, had a panic attack because I was on my own (first time for this and very scary) and couldn't stop shivering. I phoned my mum and Craig but couldn't get a hold of them. Eventually I managed to get myself to the hospital and was immediately taken to a side room in the emergency department.
I was panicing again and even more when they were wiring me up to all sorts of machines and telling me I might have meningitis. Blood was taken, an IV put it, drip attached and lights turned out. I had all sorts of medication pumped into me and all I wanted to do was go home. The doctor told me I had to stay but, having a fear of hospitals, I refused and started causing a scene - mid panic.
One of my friends had come to sit with me and convince me to stay but I was having none of it. I ripped the machines out and refused to stay. The doctor told me how serious it was but against everyones wishes I discharged myself.
My mum had come to meet me and wasn't mad at me, just worried. She took me home but within hours I was back in the emergency room ten times worse. I knew this time I had to stay in. Craig and his mum were with me so I didn't feel so bad. I was once again wired to all sorts of machines, taken for a chest x-ray and to the ward where I was given my own room. I got told I was being sent for a lumber puncture which made me freak even more. I wanted my mum, 22 years old and all I wanted was her by my side.
It was now late at night and time for Craig and his mum to go. As they were leaving I was in floods of tears begging them to stay but they couldn't. I was a mess. Every hour during the night I was woken for tests and more blood and in the morning I was happy to wake to find my mum beside me.
My temperature was still sky high, blood pressure really low, heart tracing was all over the place, heart rate was super high and blood tests showed all sorts of abnormalities. Before I knew it I was in am ambulance being sent to Ninewells hospital in Dundee for a scan as I had a blood clot in my lung. Before going in the ambulance I had to have another injection in my stomach to thin my blood and strange stuff injected through my IV prior to the scan to show the blood supply to my lungs.
I'd never been in an ambulance before, it wasn't really that exciting but it was nice to know the blue flashing lights were on! After my scan we had to wait 2 hours before we could get an ambulance back to Perth. Finally we got back and some more tests were carried out. I was eventually allowed home but with orders of strict bed rest and lots of medication.
So...that's why I've taken ages to update things, I've got so much to update you on and I PROMISE I will get it done soon, I just need to take things easy at the moment. Will try and update again today.
Much love,
Kirst xx
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