Out with the Old and In with the New

Well folks, a lot has changed since I last posted (I know, it's been over a month!)

My health is still up and down at the moment but thankfully its mostly up! Craig and I are making the most fantastic memories as husband and wife and new doors keep opening for both of us. I am very fortunate and very lucky with what I have in my life. I have the most amazing family and friends and have something to smile about each and every day.

2010 has been our year...we have got married, had the most amazing honeymoon in the Maldives and are just back from Florida with my family. We are skydiving next weekend and doing some Christmas shopping in Manchester as well as looking forward to santa coming next month!

One thing has played on my mind over and over recently. I feel it is time to close the door on my modeling career. I have put lots of thought into this and I want to focus on a few new things in my life. Craig and I have been seriously talking about starting a family and this is where my heart lies. I have to put my health first and make sure I am not doing too much....doctors orders.

I want to take this time to thank all the special people I have met during the last 3 years. I have made some very special friends, especially John, Hannah and Phil. I have travelled throughout the UK and been to some magical places I never even knew existed. I have fallen face first in a puddle of mud, been bitten by a swan and almost pulled over a fence by a donkey! I have stepped on a dead vole while shooting nude in a cave, almost been stranded on a rock as the tide came in, seen a photographer (Phil) fall out of a tree and almost fallen over in some reeds while my leggings were round my ankles and I was trying to walk. I have shot everything from fashion to lingerie, glamour to nude. I specialised in nude, which I am so happy I did. I enjoyed embracing my curves in front of the camera and creating different shapes in the light and shadows. I have shot with male and female photographers, in front of one photographer or a group. I've been caught naked in an old farmhouse and shot in -13'C with Alex Ingram. I also ruffled the feathers of another nude model but over time we both realised we are similar and therefore have similar visions. After exchanging emails etc we have now almost become friends, which is something truly unique in my heart. (I know you are reading this and I want to say Thank You and you are a fantastic model!)

I have made so many memories over the past few years while in the presence of a photographer and a camera. I have all the images to speak for themselves and will always hold them close to my heart. Many models have inspired me, photographers too. Places inspire me. There is nothing more magical than shooting in a natural surrounding, nude, with the chilly wind and small raindrops falling on your skin. This is my favourite feeling in the world, being free, at one with nature.

I could go on for hours about all of this, it is something so utterly special to me but I'd like to leave it there for now. I'm closing this chapter of my life and opening another. I'm not saying I will not be in front of another camera in my life, possibly even behind it, but for now, for me, I know this is the right thing.

Thank You Everyone and Goodnight xxx

Changes

I'm going through a little unsettled period at the moment, primarily due to my up and down health of recent months. I just can't seem to see a clear path at the moment, my journey seems clouded and fuzzy. I'm trying my best to see through the rain just now, some days it seems to just drizzle but other days it pours. I'm trying out a few new things and seeing if they help.

I've started a new fitness routine at my local gym which is killing me every week but it will be worth it. I was there again last night and today I'm not as sore as last week so hopefully I'm getting fitter. Can already feel my abs returning..it's a great feeling.

I've also been let down by another photographer since I last posted. Sometimes I just find people so rude when you point out something which upset or annoyed you. The least they could do is understand, instead of getting all defensive and bombarding you with messages.

Anyway, here's a lovely image from Stephen Phillips from our shoot not too long ago. I really like this one and I love my expression...

I have had a fair few shoots since my last post and also turned another year older. To celebrate my birthday I had a shoot with the lovely and very talented Mr Hewat where we shot me in my birthday suit! I also wore some "interesting" outfits...if you could call them that. Images to follow.

On Sunday I'm shooting at the Radison hotel in Glasgow with a few other models, should be a fab day and looking forward to catching up with old friends and meeting some new ones!

Lots of love,
Kirst xxx

I can see the light

The above image was shot by Stephen Philips who I recently worked with on a studio shoot. This was the first time Stephen and I had shot together and I'm pretty pleased with some of the images. From what I've seen so far the above image is my favourite. This was captured during one of the moments Stephen told me to "do my thing". I'm not sure what it is that attracts me to this image...

One thing I do like about the image is that it is very relevant to my life at the moment. In this image there is something in front of me clouding my sight (my hair) but I can see through it slightly and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think the expression on my face is very apt to my situation and one thing I was very keen to do during this shoot is use my feelings from my health news to portray emotion in images. I may as well use sad news as motivation and gain something out of it!

I'm shooting on location on Monday and very much looking forward to it so expect another update pretty soon!

Kirst xxx

My good old friend Phil

Well here he is, Mr Lifescapes! Phil is a very special person to me, we seemed to click instantly when we started talking online about arranging a shoot. He will always hold a special little corner in my heart <3

Kirst xx

Do you ever get bored of looking at images of yourself?

I got asked this the other day while shooting. Truth is I don't get bored of looking at awesome images of me (awesome being different/interesting/unique) where you look at the image and go "wow, that's cool". I've done this a few times with my images, firstly with my work with Alex Ingram which I feel is one of my biggest achievements so far in modeling. If this keeps happening when I look at images of myself I'll be a happy girl as I'd be going somewhere - moving forward.

While shooting recently at a studio something struck a chord in my mind. I was happy, the shoot was going well, I was getting on well with the photographer but everything was just 'nice'. The lighting was nice, I looked nice in a nice outfit with a nice smile which made a nice image. Just nice. I don't like looking at 'nice' images of me. I was being directed during the shoot which is something I'm not used to, I'm not used to smiling and making pretty pictures, I'm more about concentrating on my expression while creating interesting shapes with my body with interesting and intriguing shadows or making an outfit stand out in an image while I portray a specific emotion.
When I left the shoot I was feeling a bit down, almost as if I hadn't enjoyed myself. It made me realised for me to fully enjoy a shoot it needs to be inspiring, different, emotive, thought provoking...not just a nice image for my great granny (if she was still alive) to look at and say "that's lovely, stick it on the fireplace"

I guess I'm just re-evaluating everything after the storm I've been through recently. I want to make sure (since my energy can get quite low) that every drop of my energy is used towards something I enjoy whole heartedly.

So I know it's been a long winded explaination but moral of the post is that I think I need to be pushed more, with challenging ideas and inspiring situations. I guess I don't like just being 'nice'.

Since I never like posting without an image here is one from Sstu Hyland from last month. I'm happy with this one - it was wicked working in a different setting, it's been a while since I've shot in a castle! Thanks Stu!

Kirst xxx

Will the rain clouds ever go away....?

Well, as you all know I've not been very well recently. Yesterday I demanded to see a doctor and I sat in his room and told him I wasn't leaving until I got some answers. Well....I certainly got some answers but it wasn't what I wanted to hear at all. When he told me I burst into tears.

One of the hardest things was coming to terms with it and being able to admit to what I had/have. I went to visit my sister-in-law who was there with a shoulder to cry on. When I went home I was so scared to tell Craig, for some reason I thought he wouldn't love me as much if I told him what it was. Eventually I couldn't hold it in anymore so I let it all out and told him everything. He was absolutely amazing and told me he's going to stand by me no matter what happens. Couldn't ask for a better husband.

As you might have guessed, I'm super close with my mum. We tell each other everything and there are never any secrets between us. Craig told me I should tell her but I was shaking at the thought of it, I was terrified. My mum has enough stress with her day to day life without having to worry about me.
After dinner Craig, Cody and I walked up to my mums and I got her on her own, burst into tears and told her every single thing the doctor said. She cried a little too and gave me a massive cuddle. It still brings tears to my eyes even writing about it, I'm so scared...

...at least now I know what it is and I can get the proper treatment I need. I did get told to keep active though and to try and not let things bother me too much. I'm looking to fill my diary with lots of exciting projects to keep me going over the next couple of months as I know they are not going to be the easiest of times.

Kirst xxx

My Handsome Little Man

As lots of you may know I have a lovely little border collie called Cody. He is my complete world. Some of you have been lucky enough to meet him, some have even managed to get him to pose for some shots. I love this little chap dearly. I know of no other man who will be super excited when I walk through the door and who is so happy with the most simple of things...the same food every day and just water to drink. For the little things they receive they certainly have lots of love to give.
When I have been unwell Cody has stuck right by my side and always been ready to cuddle me until I fall asleep. I love getting my camera out when he's about, he's such a little poser!

Hope you enjoy my little man as much as I do,

Kirst xxx